(10-13-2010 05:15 AM)Penguinmaster Wrote: Story
Agreeing with everything here, and adding a few things that weren't mentioned.
As said above, it's entirely inconsistent, and what bothered me the most was the character's amazing ability to interpret symbols he would never have seen before. I'm not saying the puzzle isn't good, I'm saying it makes no sense, please rethink it.
Living Quarters: Yet again agreeing with everything here too, additionally the monster, sure it's scary at first that you can hear him constantly moaning and groaning, but it gets irritating fast. The best horror is when something takes you by surprise. In your level you walk in and hear him groaning, but after about a minute you realize he's nowhere to be found. Yet he just will not shut up. Better yet, there's absolutely no indication of what you're even supposed to be doing. You pick up a lock picking sewing needle, in an effort to, for some unexplained reason, find, and release the monster.
When you find him, and he jumps out at you, it's very scary, I'll give you that, I jumped. It would have been scarier if it was a little more surprising, rather than totally expected as soon as you enter the living quarters. Additionally, every player will run the opposite direction as fast as he can, so you're directing players away from the next objective, which is...
The combination for calling upon divine power and I assume, banishing the monster? Why is this note, in the same closet you let him out of? It makes no sense at all.
So to reiterate, the issue here is that you've not only diverted players away from the objective, and probably left them too scared to come back, which then in turn makes them run around the rest of the living quarters desperately trying to find what they're supposed to do next. Before they finally come back to find the monster has vanished into thin air (this also makes no sense, even in the game's story monster's walked away, and they would have had the insanity excuse to explain vanishing. This doesn't have that.
The rocks are very boxy, so are paths and everything in a straight line, and every transition is neatly placed on a 90 degree angle from one another. Very unnatural, please rework this. The doors in the caves, are somehow jammed into rocks, but function perfectly fine? Change this, add some sort of architecture so that you can put a proper door frame in, as they stand they shouldn't function at all.
A lot of the walls are misaligned with each other creating gaps between modular level pieces. There is an unexplained light at the back of the top floor, which I thought was an indication of a secret trapdoor, and kept hopeless searching around for, until I found the proper one (You might want to call a lot more attention to this tbh, it's not as obvious as it should be). The chairs also bothered me, most of them were nicely laid out, and after 100+ years, in perfect condition.
Additionally, in the intro there's a spelling mistake, nothing major, just thought I'd point that out.
Now onto what I liked. The backstory is pretty interesting, despite the issues mentioned above, and the monster sounds coming from the closets is clever too, but please tone them down, a lot, and don't make it come out of open closets that you can clearly see are unoccupied.
Keep at it, I'd like to see where you take it as you improve.
E: Almost forgot, please include screenshots, a summary, and any relevant information in your first post from now on, if only for organization's sake.