Custom Story: Lost Father

[fuytko]

Hello all

Today I finally finished my custom story Lost Father..
I work alone on that,so it's really amater..But I hope it's not amater too much.
This is my first custom story

Lost Father

Download link: CLICK FOR DOWNLOAD
Image 1: http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/5575/am...035953.jpg
Image 2: http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/4092/...003052.jpg
Image 3: http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/7603/...303927.jpg

NOW YOU CAN DOWNLOAD ! IT'S UPDATED

[Anxt]

Well, I came here to make a reply to your story, but now I see you took the download link down, so I assume there are some issues with it.

I played through what I believe is almost all of it, but I was unable to complete it due to unforeseen circumstances. Here's what I thought:

Spoiler below!

It was frustrating, in all honesty. Having to jump on top of boxes to find keys or needles, always having to find some key somewhere, to open a door to get another key, to open another door to get another key, it just got annoying.

I do not believe English is your first language, so I won't comment on the grammar. I won't ask someone to be perfect in their writing in a language that is not their first.

I had to stop playing because one of the final keys (I assume, at least) got pushed under a closet in the dungeon, and I could not retrieve it. There were no boards or thin objects to slide under the closet to push the key out, so I had to quit. I tried loading a save, but then it decided it didn't want me to use the hammer on the padlock anymore, so I gave up.

Since it is your first story, I think it was ok. You seem to have some basic knowledge of scripting, but while I didn't find many clipping issues, there were lighting issues abound. I would suggest you go for more realistic lighting in your next story, if you make one.

You also need to be more vocal about the use of some objects. Saying it is a "Key for some door" isn't helpful to me. Nor is finding a glass jar, then filling it with a liquid, then heating the liquid, then using it on a door to unlock it. I was shocked that it worked, and there really was no way for me to know that is what it was meant to do. Overall, just try to have things make sense, or give the player hints because using a jar of some random chemical on a door to unlock it just isn't going to be the most obvious thing in the world.

I hope you don't take my criticisms personally, I only wish to provide feedback so you can improve in the future.

[fuytko]

Axnt,thanks for tips! I am going to repair it.. And..keys..yes it's annoying,but i don't know how to script crowbar on the door or something like this.

Yes,i know my english is not good,but i am from Slovakia

[Anxt]

(09-18-2011 07:03 AM)fuytko Wrote:  Axnt,thanks for tips! I am going to repair it.. And..keys..yes it's annoying,but i don't know how to script crowbar on the door or something like this.

Yes,i know my english is not good,but i am from Slovakia

Well, that's why I said not to worry about the English

If you need any specific script assistance, let me know, I'll be happy to help.

[fuytko]

(09-18-2011 05:54 PM)Anxt Wrote:  

(09-18-2011 07:03 AM)fuytko Wrote:  Axnt,thanks for tips! I am going to repair it.. And..keys..yes it's annoying,but i don't know how to script crowbar on the door or something like this.

Yes,i know my english is not good,but i am from Slovakia

Well, that's why I said not to worry about the English

If you need any specific script assistance, let me know, I'll be happy to help.

And do you try updated version of Lost Father? My friend play it today and he says it's good custom story

[Anxt]

(09-18-2011 06:30 PM)fuytko Wrote:  

(09-18-2011 05:54 PM)Anxt Wrote:  

(09-18-2011 07:03 AM)fuytko Wrote:  Axnt,thanks for tips! I am going to repair it.. And..keys..yes it's annoying,but i don't know how to script crowbar on the door or something like this.

Yes,i know my english is not good,but i am from Slovakia

Well, that's why I said not to worry about the English

If you need any specific script assistance, let me know, I'll be happy to help.

And do you try updated version of Lost Father? My friend play it today and he says it's good custom story

I have to leave for work in a few minutes, but I will play it later on tonight when I get home.

[HumiliatioN]

I agree with Anxt. This was a nice custom story and pretty long.

But there are many flaws and disappointments:

First some rooms looks empty. I hate when rooms are empty and nothing at all to explore example: that hub.
Every my custom story has to be many entities to explore and many items to collect or thats only my opinion.

Second: Repetitive find key to door thing. Annoying as hell make new or another puzzles to solve (expect)

Spoiler below!

that Liquid thing to door that was weird.

Third: Missing originality nothing new.

Just make these three things to improve your changes to make better map and spend time for your next project. That's my advice

It was ok. Enjoyed it though

[fuytko]

Who have played it actually? It's a good custom story? I need know that!

[Ivan4ik]

Hi. In the beginning, when you come into the main hall you can immediately go to the cellar. The door opened without a key there.

[Unearthlybrutal]

Looks quite interesting. I might download it (*)tomorrow and try.


(* not today because of this is very busy time at work (changing snow tires to cars) and I need to go sleeping, but first things first --> evening tobacco )