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[Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread
HiImShy Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

(03-21-2014, 03:22 PM)WIWWM Wrote: The light in the second looks like it extends further the then in the first... Huh.

The books look copy pasted in.
At school at the moment so not sure if this is helpful at all but mess with the lighting around the windows, point lights point lights point lights.
Okey, I'll fix the books and the lighting. Thank you! Smile
03-21-2014, 03:36 PM
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CarnivorousJelly Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

(03-21-2014, 12:34 PM)HiImShy Wrote: Hm.. I guys and girls. I'm kinda new here (first post ever). This is the first "serious" room I have ever made.
I have only been using the editor for a few days so it's not that good. But what do you think? :)

<Image 1>

<Image 2>

Hey, welcome to the forum!
Have a wall of text to read :D I'll try to make it bearable and break it into smaller pieces for ya c:
Spoiler below!

Subjects (eg. billboards, lighting, decoration, detailing) are in bold text, while important points (too organized/cluttered, too small/large, could be brighter) are in italicized text. The plain text elaborates on the important points. Once in a while, I'll throw in links to pretty pictures to help emphasize points or give examples - they'll be much more useful than those two links, no worries.

So uhm, I'll leave commenting on lighting until last since I'm sitting in a very sunny area and using my hand as a shade just to see my comp screen (and it's on full brightness)! I had to open your pictures in photoshop and turn up the gamma by ungodly amounts just to see the contents - hope you don't mind c:

That text at the top of your first screenshot, get rid of it :p Seriously, it's easy to do and looks way more professional. I believe you can turn off hints in the options menu from in-game, there's a way to turn off the screen's darkness effects too (I can't remember how though, but it doesn't seem to be a problem with your screenshot anyways).

Alright, second is: what is the room's purpose? Every room has a purpose - even in a giant mansion :p To me, this one seems like it could be a storage room (lots of shelves, boxes, not really designed for spending time relaxing), a reading room (usually dim light, a fireplace, comfy chairs, lots of books), or maybe a small, personal library (lots of books and shelves, comfy seating, well decorated - probably designed for showing off knowledge of some sort). Might want to clarify this a bit, because it currently looks like a mix of all three. Objects - like the chandelier - look out of place and mismatched due to the lack of clarity.

The current placement of large objects is actually really good because it allows the player to move freely through the room without getting stuck on items (although I have a thing for cluttered rooms - like Hardarm's maps).

As for the rest of the objects, you might want to add a human element. For example, book shelves and carpets being off-angle by 2 degrees, a few of the single book entities lying sideways/crooked on shelves, piles of books by the chairs for reading, books put back in their spots the wrong way around. Think of how humans interact with their environment. With shelves, most people are too lazy to reach for the stuff on the top shelves and too tall to bother paying attention to the bottom shelves - so the stuff in the middle (particularly around chest-level) is going to be less organized (or even missing in some spots) since it's taken out more often. Don't be afraid to go full Sherlock on the room, either (I've done that before, lots of fun! People that notice the detail appreciate it and those that don't are still more immersed in the environment because of it) :D

Your detailing isn't too bad currently, could use a bit more work though. I noticed there's a wine bottle on the floor near one of the carpets - you'd probably expect a bit of wine to be spilled there with it, maybe some goblets to drink out of (unless they were planning to finish off the bottle in one go - crazy drunk :p). Since the bottle stayed on the floor and there are cobwebs in the corners, I don't think the people using that room were being very tidy. It wouldn't hurt to throw in some static dirt decals on the ground and fog particles in the air to simulate dust (and give a bit of depth). Sort of like this sexy map (also Hardarm's) or this one (mine - all mine >:D).

It's still way too bright where I'm sitting for me to see your screenshots without messing up the gamma, so I'm afraid I can't make any comments about the lighting right now. Hope I was still able to be useful! :D

Oh and one more thing - I know it's a lot of stuff I commented on, but don't get discouraged c: it's more of my awkward way to encourage people to improve :p


Edit: walls of text seem to becoming my way of greeting people... awesome :D

[Image: quote_by_rueppells_fox-d9ciupp.png]
(This post was last modified: 03-21-2014, 06:32 PM by CarnivorousJelly.)
03-21-2014, 06:30 PM
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HiImShy Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

Thank you so much!
It's supposed to me like a "chill room" (reading and stuff).
I've added the "human elements" on the carpets and paintings etc. But will add more of them!

I'll post another one when Im done.
03-21-2014, 06:36 PM
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Romulator Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

[Image: 2s6aj3m.jpg]

I would actually like to make this room better. One thing I know I should do is work on adding some particles, decals and perhaps some more ornaments, but can you recommend anything more?

Discord: Romulator#0001
[Image: 3f6f01a904.png]
03-22-2014, 02:28 AM
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Vale Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

Hmm. Everyone has their own style, but id darken up the left side and space behind the closet for more contrast. Also, consider some static decals to border floors around important objects (ie hay) but not too many as to drown the map out. As for any more ornaments - depends on what environment this is. Where is this room?
PS: Old stone room, consider minor debris like pebbles and a few bricks
03-22-2014, 03:43 AM
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Romulator Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

(03-22-2014, 03:43 AM)valetheimpaler Wrote: Hmm. Everyone has their own style, but id darken up the left side and space behind the closet for more contrast. Also, consider some static decals to border floors around important objects (ie hay) but not too many as to drown the map out. As for any more ornaments - depends on what environment this is. Where is this room?
PS: Old stone room, consider minor debris like pebbles and a few bricks

Thanks! I'll get onto it.

The room is directly below the ground visible to the eye; so the grating is like where the roof meets the dirt of the earth. Should put a dirt pile near the bottom, or perhaps a broomstick too...

Discord: Romulator#0001
[Image: 3f6f01a904.png]
03-22-2014, 04:19 AM
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Vale Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

ok, so yeah.
Also consider some falling dust or something.
Make sure to make a copy of your map in case you dont like the changes. Hope this helps
03-22-2014, 04:26 AM
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CarnivorousJelly Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

So uhm, I'm working on a thing that's not really a screenshot, but it's not complete yet and I wanted a bit of feedback, so I'm throwing it in this thread :D
[video=youtube]http://youtu.be/Sg3NPkdfS-c[/video]
I'm trying to make a spotlight gobo that resembles leaves moving in the wind. I know the animation is really rough currently (and should be on oscillate rather than loop) and the spots are waaaay too magnified, but is there anything else I should be working on? c:

>.> if anyone wants this when it's done, I'll gladly upload the .dds images for it c:

Edit: I was going for something like this, by the way (but obviously an animated version)

[Image: quote_by_rueppells_fox-d9ciupp.png]
(This post was last modified: 03-22-2014, 05:46 AM by CarnivorousJelly.)
03-22-2014, 05:38 AM
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PutraenusAlivius Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

omg Kia's desktop is insane

"Veni, vidi, vici."
"I came, I saw, I conquered."
03-22-2014, 05:44 AM
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CarnivorousJelly Offline
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RE: Screenshot criticism thread

>.> the master artist (Danny Boy) gave me a tutorial in photoshop space art so I had to make something

[Image: quote_by_rueppells_fox-d9ciupp.png]
03-22-2014, 05:45 AM
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