(05-26-2014, 07:16 AM)Red Wrote: Damn. Who else has written a novel or something similiar?
I might be in need of some improving writing techniques.
How would you start building, something similiar to those vast epic battles, like in LOTR for example?
Here's an excerpt from the final battle of a piece of fanfiction (of a video game) I wrote.
Spoiler below!
At that instant, all the orange mist surrounding the Aether Stones began to swirl around in front of the portal. A crimson orange aura of energy became visible about Isa’s form as he drew his blade. Milam could feel the air becoming tense. A heavy pressure weighed down on him like the anxious calm before a storm.
Everyone gathered behind Milam’s barrier as Isa pointed his katana forward. There was something ominous about the way that the mist was swirling. It was as if they were drawing out power from the Aether Stones to charge up some immense attack.
“We all have Aether Weapons too, Isa!” Johann yelled. “How do you think you can defeat all of us?”
“I didn't just forge an Aether Weapon, though.” A smile curled up on Isa’s face. ”Why do you think I wear this black cloak of mine all the time?”
Milam raised his wand and prepared a spell.
“I wasn't just satisfied with wielding the most powerful weapon in this Realm. I needed to make sure I was utterly invincible.” Isa placed a hand upon his shoulder, and his fingers wrapped around his cloak.
An instant before Milam could fire off his attack, his barrier suddenly became blasted by a torrent of energy as the swirling mist launched itself forward. The mist had coalesced into the shape of a funnel and surrounded all six of them like a tornado. Milam immediately felt his own energy depleting as he tried to maintain his barrier. His mental stamina faltered, and he had lost the concentration to summon forth the spell that he was about to cast. Noticing that their companion was steadily being weakened, Aaron, Johann, and Eilin all fired back at Isa with their Aether Weapons, casting towards him an azure light.
All three attacks from their Aether Weapons coalesced into a single stream of energy that blasted against Isa’s katana. Just a second earlier, Isa had raised his sword in front of his body to protect himself. A violent burst of light erupted in front of Isa, and all the mist surrounding him was momentarily cleared. Milam still felt, however, a heavy force eroding against his barrier and he knelt to the ground as his stamina began to fail him. All six of them continued to hear the rage of a hurricane of energy surrounding them. A few seconds later, when the light from the Aether spells had dimmed, everyone saw – to their astonishment – that the combined attacks from Aaron, Johann, and Eilin had complete vanished, and their enemy remained standing.
Isa threw off his black cloak to reveal that he wore a dark red battle dress covered with plates of gold.
“This is what you call ‘Aether Armor,’” Isa said. “I wander the Realm with the immortality of Oryx himself. By wielding the very nightmare that haunts the Mad God, I have silently dethroned him.” He chuckled as he lowered his head. “That’s why I am undefeatable. Oryx does not rule this Realm – I have become more powerful than he has ever been. For the past three years, I have stood in God mode.”
Milam suddenly shrieked in pain as the mist exploded through his barrier. The six of them were instantly thrown back several meters through the air as they collided with the funneling mist. Then Isa raised his katana in front of him, and circular wreathes of fire and lightning materialized around his blade. A moment later, each wreath burst out from the sword and sent five arcs of crimson energy tearing across the ground. The gargantuan pillars of ice that had been built in the hall collapsed as they were struck by the attack and each shattered into countless pieces. Everyone found themselves being lifted up into the air as the ground quaked and split into dozens of burning fragments.
Everything in the room had been scorched black, and streams of fire lay at the five lines where the ground had been torn apart. The ice cave had been turned into a scene of boundless ruin.
When Claire opened her eyes she saw – to her absolute despair – the figure of Isa standing stoic in front of all the carnage that he had created. A whirling mist continued to surround him, and he appeared completely unharmed despite that his devastating attack had leveled the very floor of the room. As for herself, the Huntress’ armor had been slashed apart by the flames, and excruciatingly painful burns covered her body all over. She struggled to return even onto her knees while blood flowed down her arms and waist and formed a thin red pool on the ground. Looking around, Claire saw that Aaron and Milam had both been knocked unconscious. Eilin and Johann were unsuccessfully trying to crawl back onto their feet and continue fighting, just like her. But to their surprise, there was one person who remained standing even after taking the full blow of Isa’s attack.
Allen held his shield out in front of him, though it was filled with cracks and had become nearly blackened after being exposed to the flames. Cuts, burns, and bruises covered the whole of Allen’s body, and yet he somehow had the strength to lift his sword back up. When Allen tried to step forward, he nearly stumbled and appeared ready to fall to the ground at any moment.
“What do you think you can do against me?” Isa asked as he walked calmly towards Allen. The mist surrounding him grew stronger, and Claire could hear it whirling around like a powerful gale.
Let me know what you think of it, Red.
Which game is this? Seems rather interesting.
Anyway, I did not expect nothing less from you, this is well written as of always,
I did get the feel of being in some kind of epic battle, and that's enough for me to start thinking from, it's a good sample about the subject.
Can't give further comments however, I should know more from this, to wrap my ideas around the narrative. This is literally like a page from a book, from a good book, I assume, if there even was any.
How long have you been writing by the way?
The game is Realm of the Mad God.
Thanks. I've been writing fanfiction and fantasy novellas for 5 years now.
(05-26-2014, 07:16 AM)Red Wrote: Damn. Who else has written a novel or something similiar?
I might be in need of some improving writing techniques.
How would you start building, something similiar to those vast epic battles, like in LOTR for example?
Here's an excerpt from the final battle of a piece of fanfiction (of a video game) I wrote.
Spoiler below!
At that instant, all the orange mist surrounding the Aether Stones began to swirl around in front of the portal. A crimson orange aura of energy became visible about Isa’s form as he drew his blade. Milam could feel the air becoming tense. A heavy pressure weighed down on him like the anxious calm before a storm.
Everyone gathered behind Milam’s barrier as Isa pointed his katana forward. There was something ominous about the way that the mist was swirling. It was as if they were drawing out power from the Aether Stones to charge up some immense attack.
“We all have Aether Weapons too, Isa!” Johann yelled. “How do you think you can defeat all of us?”
“I didn't just forge an Aether Weapon, though.” A smile curled up on Isa’s face. ”Why do you think I wear this black cloak of mine all the time?”
Milam raised his wand and prepared a spell.
“I wasn't just satisfied with wielding the most powerful weapon in this Realm. I needed to make sure I was utterly invincible.” Isa placed a hand upon his shoulder, and his fingers wrapped around his cloak.
An instant before Milam could fire off his attack, his barrier suddenly became blasted by a torrent of energy as the swirling mist launched itself forward. The mist had coalesced into the shape of a funnel and surrounded all six of them like a tornado. Milam immediately felt his own energy depleting as he tried to maintain his barrier. His mental stamina faltered, and he had lost the concentration to summon forth the spell that he was about to cast. Noticing that their companion was steadily being weakened, Aaron, Johann, and Eilin all fired back at Isa with their Aether Weapons, casting towards him an azure light.
All three attacks from their Aether Weapons coalesced into a single stream of energy that blasted against Isa’s katana. Just a second earlier, Isa had raised his sword in front of his body to protect himself. A violent burst of light erupted in front of Isa, and all the mist surrounding him was momentarily cleared. Milam still felt, however, a heavy force eroding against his barrier and he knelt to the ground as his stamina began to fail him. All six of them continued to hear the rage of a hurricane of energy surrounding them. A few seconds later, when the light from the Aether spells had dimmed, everyone saw – to their astonishment – that the combined attacks from Aaron, Johann, and Eilin had complete vanished, and their enemy remained standing.
Isa threw off his black cloak to reveal that he wore a dark red battle dress covered with plates of gold.
“This is what you call ‘Aether Armor,’” Isa said. “I wander the Realm with the immortality of Oryx himself. By wielding the very nightmare that haunts the Mad God, I have silently dethroned him.” He chuckled as he lowered his head. “That’s why I am undefeatable. Oryx does not rule this Realm – I have become more powerful than he has ever been. For the past three years, I have stood in God mode.”
Milam suddenly shrieked in pain as the mist exploded through his barrier. The six of them were instantly thrown back several meters through the air as they collided with the funneling mist. Then Isa raised his katana in front of him, and circular wreathes of fire and lightning materialized around his blade. A moment later, each wreath burst out from the sword and sent five arcs of crimson energy tearing across the ground. The gargantuan pillars of ice that had been built in the hall collapsed as they were struck by the attack and each shattered into countless pieces. Everyone found themselves being lifted up into the air as the ground quaked and split into dozens of burning fragments.
Everything in the room had been scorched black, and streams of fire lay at the five lines where the ground had been torn apart. The ice cave had been turned into a scene of boundless ruin.
When Claire opened her eyes she saw – to her absolute despair – the figure of Isa standing stoic in front of all the carnage that he had created. A whirling mist continued to surround him, and he appeared completely unharmed despite that his devastating attack had leveled the very floor of the room. As for herself, the Huntress’ armor had been slashed apart by the flames, and excruciatingly painful burns covered her body all over. She struggled to return even onto her knees while blood flowed down her arms and waist and formed a thin red pool on the ground. Looking around, Claire saw that Aaron and Milam had both been knocked unconscious. Eilin and Johann were unsuccessfully trying to crawl back onto their feet and continue fighting, just like her. But to their surprise, there was one person who remained standing even after taking the full blow of Isa’s attack.
Allen held his shield out in front of him, though it was filled with cracks and had become nearly blackened after being exposed to the flames. Cuts, burns, and bruises covered the whole of Allen’s body, and yet he somehow had the strength to lift his sword back up. When Allen tried to step forward, he nearly stumbled and appeared ready to fall to the ground at any moment.
“What do you think you can do against me?” Isa asked as he walked calmly towards Allen. The mist surrounding him grew stronger, and Claire could hear it whirling around like a powerful gale.
Let me know what you think of it, Red.
Which game is this? Seems rather interesting.
Anyway, I did not expect nothing less from you, this is well written as of always,
I did get the feel of being in some kind of epic battle, and that's enough for me to start thinking from, it's a good sample about the subject.
Can't give further comments however, I should know more from this, to wrap my ideas around the narrative. This is literally like a page from a book, from a good book, I assume, if there even was any.
How long have you been writing by the way?
The game is Realm of the Mad God.
Thanks. I've been writing fanfiction and fantasy novellas for 5 years now.
Fantasy Role Playing Retro Game, and a novel about it, you have got quite an imagination, as I've said before, something to envy for.
What do you think? You developed such during the half a decade road to here or you had it in you to begin with? Does imagination develop in any way during the writing experience?
(05-26-2014, 07:16 AM)Red Wrote: Damn. Who else has written a novel or something similiar?
I might be in need of some improving writing techniques.
How would you start building, something similiar to those vast epic battles, like in LOTR for example?
Here's an excerpt from the final battle of a piece of fanfiction (of a video game) I wrote.
Spoiler below!
At that instant, all the orange mist surrounding the Aether Stones began to swirl around in front of the portal. A crimson orange aura of energy became visible about Isa’s form as he drew his blade. Milam could feel the air becoming tense. A heavy pressure weighed down on him like the anxious calm before a storm.
Everyone gathered behind Milam’s barrier as Isa pointed his katana forward. There was something ominous about the way that the mist was swirling. It was as if they were drawing out power from the Aether Stones to charge up some immense attack.
“We all have Aether Weapons too, Isa!” Johann yelled. “How do you think you can defeat all of us?”
“I didn't just forge an Aether Weapon, though.” A smile curled up on Isa’s face. ”Why do you think I wear this black cloak of mine all the time?”
Milam raised his wand and prepared a spell.
“I wasn't just satisfied with wielding the most powerful weapon in this Realm. I needed to make sure I was utterly invincible.” Isa placed a hand upon his shoulder, and his fingers wrapped around his cloak.
An instant before Milam could fire off his attack, his barrier suddenly became blasted by a torrent of energy as the swirling mist launched itself forward. The mist had coalesced into the shape of a funnel and surrounded all six of them like a tornado. Milam immediately felt his own energy depleting as he tried to maintain his barrier. His mental stamina faltered, and he had lost the concentration to summon forth the spell that he was about to cast. Noticing that their companion was steadily being weakened, Aaron, Johann, and Eilin all fired back at Isa with their Aether Weapons, casting towards him an azure light.
All three attacks from their Aether Weapons coalesced into a single stream of energy that blasted against Isa’s katana. Just a second earlier, Isa had raised his sword in front of his body to protect himself. A violent burst of light erupted in front of Isa, and all the mist surrounding him was momentarily cleared. Milam still felt, however, a heavy force eroding against his barrier and he knelt to the ground as his stamina began to fail him. All six of them continued to hear the rage of a hurricane of energy surrounding them. A few seconds later, when the light from the Aether spells had dimmed, everyone saw – to their astonishment – that the combined attacks from Aaron, Johann, and Eilin had complete vanished, and their enemy remained standing.
Isa threw off his black cloak to reveal that he wore a dark red battle dress covered with plates of gold.
“This is what you call ‘Aether Armor,’” Isa said. “I wander the Realm with the immortality of Oryx himself. By wielding the very nightmare that haunts the Mad God, I have silently dethroned him.” He chuckled as he lowered his head. “That’s why I am undefeatable. Oryx does not rule this Realm – I have become more powerful than he has ever been. For the past three years, I have stood in God mode.”
Milam suddenly shrieked in pain as the mist exploded through his barrier. The six of them were instantly thrown back several meters through the air as they collided with the funneling mist. Then Isa raised his katana in front of him, and circular wreathes of fire and lightning materialized around his blade. A moment later, each wreath burst out from the sword and sent five arcs of crimson energy tearing across the ground. The gargantuan pillars of ice that had been built in the hall collapsed as they were struck by the attack and each shattered into countless pieces. Everyone found themselves being lifted up into the air as the ground quaked and split into dozens of burning fragments.
Everything in the room had been scorched black, and streams of fire lay at the five lines where the ground had been torn apart. The ice cave had been turned into a scene of boundless ruin.
When Claire opened her eyes she saw – to her absolute despair – the figure of Isa standing stoic in front of all the carnage that he had created. A whirling mist continued to surround him, and he appeared completely unharmed despite that his devastating attack had leveled the very floor of the room. As for herself, the Huntress’ armor had been slashed apart by the flames, and excruciatingly painful burns covered her body all over. She struggled to return even onto her knees while blood flowed down her arms and waist and formed a thin red pool on the ground. Looking around, Claire saw that Aaron and Milam had both been knocked unconscious. Eilin and Johann were unsuccessfully trying to crawl back onto their feet and continue fighting, just like her. But to their surprise, there was one person who remained standing even after taking the full blow of Isa’s attack.
Allen held his shield out in front of him, though it was filled with cracks and had become nearly blackened after being exposed to the flames. Cuts, burns, and bruises covered the whole of Allen’s body, and yet he somehow had the strength to lift his sword back up. When Allen tried to step forward, he nearly stumbled and appeared ready to fall to the ground at any moment.
“What do you think you can do against me?” Isa asked as he walked calmly towards Allen. The mist surrounding him grew stronger, and Claire could hear it whirling around like a powerful gale.
Let me know what you think of it, Red.
Which game is this? Seems rather interesting.
Anyway, I did not expect nothing less from you, this is well written as of always,
I did get the feel of being in some kind of epic battle, and that's enough for me to start thinking from, it's a good sample about the subject.
Can't give further comments however, I should know more from this, to wrap my ideas around the narrative. This is literally like a page from a book, from a good book, I assume, if there even was any.
How long have you been writing by the way?
The game is Realm of the Mad God.
Thanks. I've been writing fanfiction and fantasy novellas for 5 years now.
Fantasy Role Playing Retro Game, and a novel about it, you have got quite an imagination, as I've said before, something to envy for.
What do you think? You developed such during the half a decade road to here or you had it in you to begin with? Does imagination develop in any way during the writing experience?
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