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Work in progress Amnesia: The Darkness Within
CQBgamer Offline
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#1
Amnesia: The Darkness Within

This is the basic story for my first CS and I just wanted your opinions on it before I start working on it, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. (For those of you who saw my requests for teleporting naked guy scripts don't worry, I'm going to try and avoid using those types of scares in this story and I only wanted those for a dummy level I made just to get the hang of scripting and level editing)


Amnesia: The Darkness Within



You play as (insert character name here) a 16 year old girl who was just awoken in her childhood home. Now she must escape the sprawling estate, but all isnt as peaceful as it seems. Lurking in the shadows of her home lie some of her darkest most repressed memories of mental, physical, and sexual abuse from those she trusted most: her family and out of these memories her internal monsters are born and she will either face her fears, or be consumed by the darkness within.

[Image: 15420.png]
07-08-2014, 12:08 AM
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Mudbill Offline
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#2
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

A bit sudden to the part where "she must escape."

Why must she escape? Build a background story and give the player reason and desire to flee.

What happened before she woke up? You don't need to directly tell that, but if you just wake up in a big mansion without knowing why, people might lose the immersion a bit. Try to hint towards something so the player at least knows what's going on.

I also suggest sometimes giving vague hints to the player about the story in a way that the player can interpret it differently. This can make stories a lot deeper because different people can think of it in different ways.

(This post was last modified: 07-08-2014, 12:39 AM by Mudbill.)
07-08-2014, 12:38 AM
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CQBgamer Offline
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#3
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

I just don't want to post TOO much info in-case some of you do decide to play it once it is released, plus this is what I would use this is the description so I cant give main parts of the story away.

[Image: 15420.png]
07-08-2014, 12:46 AM
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Mudbill Offline
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#4
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

Oh absolutely. I meant that you should include these things in your story; you don't need to (and probably shouldn't) reveal it all here. Just make sure that these aren't as sudden as they seem and that you put detail into things.

07-08-2014, 12:49 AM
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CQBgamer Offline
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#5
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

Oh yeah, I'm going to make it all come full circle through the story and the ending I have planned will hopefully be a shocker.

UPDATE: Main character's name is going to be Valdis or Val for short, derived from
Spoiler below!
The Iclandic goddess of death.
That may play a key role in the story or it might now. Dont read the spoiler if you intend on playing the CS once it is completed.

[Image: 15420.png]
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2014, 01:04 AM by CQBgamer.)
07-08-2014, 12:54 AM
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BeartrixTheStrange Offline
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#6
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

This sounds interesting! Would you like some voice actresses to help?

If anyone is willing for my voice to be in a custom story, please private message me. I have been offline for too long and need to get back in this community!
07-08-2014, 02:11 AM
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AGP Offline
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#7
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

Wow, that sounds majorly intense and I adore the name!

And same as Beartrix, if you should ever be in need of a voice actress, totes available! I thrive on the darker stories, so this is definitely something I'm looking forward to!

07-08-2014, 03:55 AM
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CQBgamer Offline
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#8
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

Thanks for your offers, I am in fact looking for a few voice actresses (and possibly one male voice actor, not sure if im going to implement the minor role I had in mind for one.) I'll contact both of you with audition lines as soon as I get a chance.

[Image: 15420.png]
07-08-2014, 05:40 AM
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AGP Offline
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#9
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

(07-08-2014, 05:40 AM)CQBgamer Wrote: Thanks for your offers, I am in fact looking for a few voice actresses (and possibly one male voice actor, not sure if im going to implement the minor role I had in mind for one.) I'll contact both of you with audition lines as soon as I get a chance.

Sounds good! Big Grin And good luck with the mod!

07-08-2014, 08:56 AM
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CQBgamer Offline
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#10
RE: Amnesia: The Darkness Within

[Image: y0iSXmt.jpg]

[Image: 15420.png]
07-08-2014, 10:31 AM
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