Fifty Shades Of Orb IV: The Santorum League [LOCK]

[CorinthianMerchant]

It's been 4500 years since everything got destroyed, and the survivors struggled to rebuild civilization. In the city of New Stockholm, people frolicked in peace, partying on New Stureplan and drugging on New Plattan.
But a menace has started to threat the peace. A mystic order called "Rick Santorum and his army of dull heterosexuals" have declared a war upon the peaceful land. The desperate president Toblerone Sahlin have turned to a league of expert scientists, lead by Statyk and Andyrockin123, to bring back the heroes Daniel, ALEXSAND0R to stop the menace...
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Daniel felt his body come to life after its millennia-long rest. He stepped out of the strange pod, and saw a person making a thumbs-up to the anxious science team.

"HE'S ALIVE I TELL YOU!!!!!!" he loudly declared and waved his arms.

Daniel was confused, as Andyrockin123 pulled him up. "Welcome back, son! You've been gone 4500 years, imagine all the porn you have to catch up on!"

Daniel took some time to process the information before a guy in a Dead Mau5 mask shaked hand with him.
"My name is Statyk! Welcome to Op-Toffic research station, and I hope you will find me much sexier than Andy!"

A loud boom was heard, and ALEXSAND0R appeared inside the chamber while failedALIAS licked his mouth because the dirty kid always liked kinky stuff...
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The two men kneeled before the president of New Sweden, Toblerone Sahlin.
"Santorum's army is moving fast and you need to wield The Eight Elements of Pornography in order to defeat him.Those are Pegging, BDSM, Dicks, Vagina, Dat Ass, Gonnorhea, Flamboyant Homosexual Activity, and the most powerful one; Lubricant. Now go!"

The two men teleported into...