Joke Thread: How to make a modern days horror movie

[Danny Boy]

How to make your horror story fit the now days horror movie requirements!

step 1:

Put Random cheese rock music after some random girl being killed in her bedroom/bathroom/Elm street/boat/dreams/etc!


step 2:

the main characters must be teenagers or university students, so that they satisfy step 2!

step 2:

Sex scenes! lots and lots of sex scenes! poitless and mad sex scenes!


step 3:

make the killer/monster/ghost/weird burned guy whit a claw glove kill the teenagers/university students while they are haveing sex!

step 4:

make an drug and sex addicted character! then.... make him losse his penis! great example of this step: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srij1uyKVos



step 5:

Violence! Gore! make every single gut a man can have to be showed in a midles death scene! (since you probaly don't have eny thing better to show other then that in your movie)



step 6:

Make the story ununderstandable! "Why is a monster chasing the guy?" (1408 cough cough cough) WHO KNOW?!! AND WHO CARES?!!


step 7:

Don't make an horror movie scary! make it funny and happy!
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/3...4imjmj.jpg


step 8:

forget step 1!!! put metalic music! thats is noise scary!..... right?


step 9:

don't make inteligent scares nor original ones! make jump scares that have been use 10000000000000000 times before!!! the less scary or original the better!


step 10 and last one:

sequels... lots and lots of sequels...






also if thats not enough... pick up two different atagonist from two diffrent movies and join them in a vs movies!






then make more sequels of those vs movies........



THE END


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