Joke Thread: How to make a modern days horror movie

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I've been trying to find good horror movies, but most of the ones i've seen are either not scary or simply boring or had nothing to do with the horror genre. I guess the first Paranormal Activity and Ghost Hunt (the anime) have spoiled me in some way. Nevertheless, there are still some good movies out there, like Anna's Eve, The Haunting in Connecticut, The Eye 2, Ju-on, etc.