(10-12-2011 03:25 AM)ExtinctSilence Wrote: I dont think you attached the doc file, if you did I feel like id have a bit more insight as to how you are going to attempt to achieve this moral. Mean criticism: I am not going to comment on your moral, since you are the creator and want to see things carried out a certain way which is understandable, I doubt how you are going to portray a heart felt message in a nerve racking scare game. Also, making jokes as to accomidate any moral always has its implications, so I think we may want to stick to gags for laughs, but there again there does not seem like even enough time to do so unless we change one of the notes and one of the closets. As it stands right now, I understand that closets are the underlying theme but unless you emphasize it no one will have any idea what the hell you are talking about and will sit there going "wut." I am not trying to be harsh in any way, and I hope you take this as constructive criticism if you really believe me to be on this team. I have the upmost interests in making this product one to remember, and I hope your willing to cut some ideas and some to achieve that. Every Idea has its flaws in the beginning, and yours does not have that many, it is just a little short to get a big point across. Nice Criticism: I really look forward to writing some of the notes in the prison though, you have a very good idea of developing the story in there. I feel like we could have examples of people who did not confess one of their problems, and so forth in building suspense. We will also need to really have a good transition and reason for entering these closets. I suggest perhaps a saw-esque plot, where you are being detained and the captor knows about your secret that you don't find out about until the end (also a good opprotunity for laughs). This will require a lengthy or foolish explanation of closet teleporting as the game will then seem much more applicable upon hearing you are captive, but the idea that you step in light and step out dark really has a lot of opprotunities, including maybe even being captured, knocked out, etc. in that closet.
Remember, nice or not all criticism is important. I hope you take no offense to my prior suggestions, and I look forward to reading the notes tomorrow.
EDIT: found the doc. It seems a bit confusing as i had feared, and may need to be changed. Unless you have an explanation later on as to what supper means, as well as portculis. The third note reminded me of cave johnson from portal, but i doubt that was what you were going for. I'm hoping the notes can be serious for a long amount of time and then have a gag one followed by some surprize in a closet correlating to the note, which would be a good way to get your laughs in. Let me hear what you think on any of the ideas, but I seem to fancy a saw like scenario which would be perfect if you are thinking about sticking with the same moral.
Yes I like every idea you've had, as I'm not great with writing or grammar. I really like the Saw-like scenario.
I've spoken to my friend and had him read your replies, needless to say he's pretty excited as this is our first post.
Feel free to change anything. I have told my friend that any changes you make I'll show him and any changes that we make I'll tell you. Also, any changes we make to your work I'll send back to you, so that if you don't approve then we can circle it around until we have something we are all satisfied with.
I'll also link a RAR file with the Custom story we have so far.
P.S. You need the Justine DLC to play it. I use some of the items from it.
the key is in an obvious place.