From my time on doing this stuff and from my time being contracted on one of the most successful gaming video network for two years, I have to say that while this video in itself is of poor quality, the good news is at least you have opened yourself and accepted criticism for all sides. I'll look back from time to time to see if there is any improvement.
Develop your own style while not trying to mimic other youtubers. You can take some inspiration from them for they can be a great starting point for youtubers but don't let it be blatently obvious. Overtime, add you own style. Cry has "pot" and a soothing attitude, Felix (PewDiePie) has a strange fondness with a certain statue, and I (yeah I know but I cannot think of any more) have Dr J Awless to spout out random comments that relate to the video.
In conclusion develop your own style while at the same time keep an eye on any criticisms. Don't disregard those who dislike or comment on your videos as haters or trolls, sample the stuff and acknowledge the errors you may make. Also, sort out your audio