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**DragonRuins** · 03-18-2012 06:39 AM

NEW UPDATE TO V1.8! MANY NEW CHANGES.

This is my first custom story I have made. I have not entirely finished decorating all of the maps, but I decided to post it to see if it needs any more work done than I think. I do have an end-map with credits. Here is the description of the map: "It's in the middle of the day, and you wake up in a room you've never seen. You don't know how to react, where you are, or what to do. All you know is, you've pissed off a deseased man's ghost. The only thing you can do now, is find out how to leave." Feedback would be much appreciated. Map as attachment, or use the mediafire link below screen shots.

Videos:
xLePlay: (His videos aren't from the finished version)

Spoiler below!

Screen Shots:

Spoiler below!

DOWNLOADS:

V1.8: Mediafire

Older Versions:

Spoiler below!

Changelog:

Spoiler below!

The Ghost of Dr. ArachnikaraV1.8.rar (Size: 79.2 KB / Downloads: 37)

**Kaizy** · 03-21-2012 07:45 AM

Alright, let me make a suggestion here, this thread doesn't seem to be getting any attention.

I personally think you should save the pictures to Tinypic or Photobucket or some other image hosting site because some people like myself may not want to download a zip file of images just to see what the map looks like. Like I said, upload them to an image hosting site and put them in your first post so people have pictures to go by right when they open the thread as opposed to just a paragraph and download links.

If people see some pics on here, it may encourage people to download and try, but that's just my opinion.

**DaAinGame** · 03-21-2012 07:56 AM

(03-21-2012 07:45 AM)Kaizy Wrote: Alright, let me make a suggestion here, this thread doesn't seem to be getting any attention.

I personally think you should save the pictures to Tinypic or Photobucket or some other image hosting site because some people like myself may not want to download a zip file of images just to see what the map looks like. Like I said, upload them to an image hosting site and put them in your first post so people have pictures to go by right when they open the thread as opposed to just a paragraph and download links.

If people see some pics on here, it may encourage people to download and try, but that's just my opinion.

Couldn't agree more. Also, video is another great method at attracting people to your custom story. To be honest, all I see is a blank thread that doesn't really wake me up that much. I'll go ahead and download the map and see how it goes though!

Spoiler below!

Overall I give it a 5/10
Please continue on it! Put enough work into it and it could be great!

**Dark Knight** · 03-21-2012 06:55 PM

Spoiler below!

overall - very good!

**DragonRuins** · 03-21-2012 08:27 PM

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! I will add some pictures today, and about the key in the bedroom. I was meaning for that to come into play later on in the story. I just cut the map short so I could at least see if I was getting anywhere. The "no roof in the end-map" That was intentional. It isn't really going to be the official East Wing map, just temporary. I plan on going back through the map and sorting things out according to your feedback. Spring break next week anyway.

Quote: Level layout didn't make much sense. From a bedroom into a main dinning hall? Or a dungeon off a library?

The bedroom is the first area of a map I had ever made in the HPL2 editor, and then I couldn't think of anything other than a dining hall for the next room Smile

I may fix that, but it definitely would require a lot of effort, because I don't see any easier way to move the whole section without messing with the script areas. The dungeon off the library was supposed to be a secret dungeon. If that desk wasn't conveniently placed there, then you couldn't get through to it. (which I may add something to do to the right of the room that's right after the first room in the Library.) A question about that area with the book case, though. Is it possible to have the dungeon doorway/frame inactive or invisible, then have the wall behind the bookcase disappear into the door frame for that style, then make the dungeon doorway/frame visible? Because there are some texture glitches with that as well. Once again, I appreciate that you all took the time to give some feed back for me to work on! I'll continue it, for sure.

<EDIT> I just added the screen shots! Currently working on improving the map Big Grin

</EDIT>

**DaAinGame** · 03-21-2012 09:32 PM

(03-21-2012 08:27 PM)DragonRuins Wrote:
Quote: Level layout didn't make much sense. From a bedroom into a main dinning hall? Or a dungeon off a library?
The bedroom is the first area of a map I had ever made in the HPL2 editor, and then I couldn't think of anything other than a dining hall for the next room I may fix that, but it definitely would require a lot of effort, because I don't see any easier way to move the whole section without messing with the script areas.

I haven't really used it that much, but you can highlight the dining room
and everything outside of the bedroom, then export your selection.
It'll save everything and allow you to import the selection at anytime. I used it in my custom story to make the first part of my South and North hallway. I made it once, then just exported it and imported it over to the second part. Works quite well, but you'd have to keep the original angles unless you wanna rotate each prop individually. Either way, it would be worth trying perhaps? Well good luck on the map, I really liked it so far.

**xLePlay** · 03-23-2012 12:49 AM

I will make a Let's Play of this.

Links: When its done

**Kaizy** · 03-23-2012 04:55 AM

Alright, I finally gave this a playthrough, so here's my thoughts:

Spoiler below!

It isn't that bad, but there's certainly work to be done. Most of your rooms come across as very very empty, lacking any sort of atmosphere and scenery. The rooms lack objects and are nearly barren, excluding the dungeon which had an over abundance of boxes all over the floor which just looked messy, and the library had bookshelves that didn't even have books on them. It would make sense if there were books scattered all over the floor in front of the empty shelves, but without any books at all, it was just empty and lackluster. I'd try adding scattered books and papers to the floors and shelves of those kinds of areas, add tools to the shelves in the dungeon, use some statues here and there; don't be afraid to add some scenery and make the house look like someone lives there. Also, the bookshelves that actually did contain books, I can tell most of them were copy/pasted; you used the same unmovable books and used nothing but those books for the entire map, and some of the books were hovering on the shelf. You should try using multiple books, shuffling them around a bit, make it look less symmetrical and copy/pasted, and make it seem more natural and used. I'm also very confused as to the use of all the buttons, I wasn't sure what most of them were actually doing. They made unlocking noises, but nothing ever seemed to be unlocked. There's also the matter of switches/levers just suddenly appearing. You should try having them always visible and there, but unable to be used until you active them in some manner. I read a note which mentioned the use of a lever I hadn't seen at all, and suddenly when I stopped reading it just appeared in front of my face. The last thing I want to address is that one room in the library, the large one with the bookshelves lined up leading to a straight path towards the door and two knight statues. The fact that you used such a big room confuses me, seeing how any attempt to walk over to the big empty areas is met with a sudden force shoving me back and making noise. It makes me wonder why you wouldn't just make a small hallway for this instead of the unnecessary large room that isn't fully used. Also, the ending confused me. You're dropped into a room with no ceiling, monsters spawn right behind you but they poof before you can turn around and see them, and once you move towards the desk it's over. I'm not really sure what happened there.

Overall, it's not bad for a first map, but you should remember these things and use them to your advantage in your next map.

**DragonRuins** · 03-23-2012 09:27 PM

(03-23-2012 04:55 AM)Kaizy Wrote: Alright, I finally gave this a playthrough, so here's my thoughts:

Spoiler below!

It isn't that bad, but there's certainly work to be done. Most of your rooms come across as very very empty, lacking any sort of atmosphere and scenery. The rooms lack objects and are nearly barren, excluding the dungeon which had an over abundance of boxes all over the floor which just looked messy, and the library had bookshelves that didn't even have books on them. It would make sense if there were books scattered all over the floor in front of the empty shelves, but without any books at all, it was just empty and lackluster. I'd try adding scattered books and papers to the floors and shelves of those kinds of areas, add tools to the shelves in the dungeon, use some statues here and there; don't be afraid to add some scenery and make the house look like someone lives there. Also, the bookshelves that actually did contain books, I can tell most of them were copy/pasted; you used the same unmovable books and used nothing but those books for the entire map, and some of the books were hovering on the shelf. You should try using multiple books, shuffling them around a bit, make it look less symmetrical and copy/pasted, and make it seem more natural and used. I'm also very confused as to the use of all the buttons, I wasn't sure what most of them were actually doing. They made unlocking noises, but nothing ever seemed to be unlocked. There's also the matter of switches/levers just suddenly appearing. You should try having them always visible and there, but unable to be used until you active them in some manner. I read a note which mentioned the use of a lever I hadn't seen at all, and suddenly when I stopped reading it just appeared in front of my face. The last thing I want to address is that one room in the library, the large one with the bookshelves lined up leading to a straight path towards the door and two knight statues. The fact that you used such a big room confuses me, seeing how any attempt to walk over to the big empty areas is met with a sudden force shoving me back and making noise. It makes me wonder why you wouldn't just make a small hallway for this instead of the unnecessary large room that isn't fully used. Also, the ending confused me. You're dropped into a room with no ceiling, monsters spawn right behind you but they poof before you can turn around and see them, and once you move towards the desk it's over. I'm not really sure what happened there.

Overall, it's not bad for a first map, but you should remember these things and use them to your advantage in your next map.

I can explain a few things for you. The bookshelves and the books. I will most certainly be fixing that, I just wanted to get the base done for a couple maps to see if I was getting anywhere with it. It's also very time consuming. The ending.. Yes, I'd just like to say that it has absolutely nothing to do with the map what so ever. I wanted something to use as the ending temporarily. I intend on building on this whole story and fixing up the previous maps as I hear from people like yourself. I'm hoping to have many, many maps when I'm finished with this whole thing. If I ever finish it. I don't mean that I'm going to stop working on it. I plan on changing the story as I go. When you finally "leave" I may have something happen to you yet again, and another map loads and there's another story. It would be like your character going through many different nightmares. Just that they aren't dreams. Smile

Thanks for the feedback, though. I'll do my best at using what you've said I should do.

**ThoseRandomGuyz** · 03-25-2012 02:31 AM

Dude, you have a LOT of updates on this map! Which is good, cause it shows that you really want it to be good. Big Grin

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