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(07-22-2014, 12:54 PM)Mechavomit Wrote: [ -> ]Why did Dracula’s mom give him cough syrup?

Spoiler below!

Because Dracula was coffin.
[Image: tumblr_inline_n93a4qpt4X1sa3qr9.gif]




I'm sorry... please don't leave

Nope, sorry, no one is topping this one. Holy shit, I lost it so hard from that gif.
Son: What does"gay" mean?
Dad: It means "to be happy".
Son: Are you gay?
Dad: No, I have a wife.
A conversation between a cobra and a librarian:
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
...
(07-26-2014, 01:59 AM)BAndrew Wrote: [ -> ]A conversation between a cobra and a librarian:
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
-Shhhh
...

I laughed way more than I should at that.
A conversation between two friends A and B:

A: "What is the integral of 1/cabin?"

B: "log cabin."

A: "Nope, houseboat--you forgot the sea."


Spoiler below!

∫(1/cabin) = log_e(cabin) + c




Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You're all a bunch of idiots".

Spoiler below!

1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + ... = 2

What did the crow say to the mathematician?

Spoiler below!
Nothing, it's a bird.
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again.
oddly enough i only remember racist jokes the best
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white.
The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof.
Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof.
Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Do you want to know what happened to the man who got every thing he wanted?
He was brutally murdered and his murderer stole all of his processions.......
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