Puns

[Focalize]

Hello Forum! As a newbie, I shall take the initiative of creating the thread of terrible puns so you will hate me less (or maybe more, but you know you want to hate me less, and I love you too). My apologies if it already exists and I failed to find it.
I'm not in the creative mood today, I'm not even going to pun this description ( O: ), so I'll start off with some old ones:

>All the good chemistry jokes Argon.
>I don't let my children watch symphonies nor big bands on tv. Too much sax and violins..
> >It only leads to treble
> >You are one clefer boy
> >I was always told that I'm pretty sharp
>"Snape snapped", said Sirius seriously.
>So, Meat Romney or Broccoli Obama?

Sorry, that's it for now. Oyasumi~

[Adny]

ooh, ooh, pick me!


>A backward poet writes inverse.
>A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
>A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
>A boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His grandmother phoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
>A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

[Statyk]

>A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

I don't get this one...

> A family is trapped at a camp. It was in tents.

[Bridge]

HAYDN'S CHOPIN LISZT AT VIVALDI'S:

Rossini and cheese

Schumann polish

Bern-n-stein remover

Satie mushrooms

batteries (Purcell)

BeethOVEN cleaner

Hummel microwave meals

orange Schubert

TchaiCOUGHsky drops

marshMahlers

Honey-nut Berlioz

Cui-tips

Chef Boyardee Raveli

sour cream and Ives

Strauss (straws)

chocolate Webers (wafers)

Del Monteverdi corn

Mozart-rella cheese

I Can't Believe it's not Rutter

Bach of serial (opera)

chicken Balakirev

new door Handel

Golden Brahms

Clemen-TEA

Little Debussy snack cakes

Oscar Meyerbeer bologna

[Juby]

How much does a dead battery cost? It's free of charge.

A pessimists blood type is always b-negative.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Why did the man get fired at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

[Potato]

> A family is trapped at a camp. It was in tents.

I can't tell if this is based off that one joke in Game Grumps from the NSMBU playthrough.

I shall be watching this thread closely.

[Statyk]

> A family is trapped at a camp. It was in tents.

I can't tell if this is based off that one joke in Game Grumps from the NSMBU playthrough.

I shall be watching this thread closely.

I've never watched either of them, so I think its safe to say I came up with this off the top of my head in about a minute. lol notice its the only pun I had at the time?

[failedALIAS]

Eh?


EHHHHH!?

[Nice]

Eh?


EHHHHH!?

[Focalize]

>For the economists out there: I eat maynards when I read about Keynesian economics. Actually.
>A yummy conversation: