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[Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread
FlawlessHappiness Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

1.
No carpet. You're underground. Nobody would put a carpet there.
It's too symmetric. Tilt some things.
Also remove the chandelier. It'll be nicer if it is a little darker. Then you can bring out a couple of shadows.
Also the room seems too big, or too empty. Try placing a pillar or two.

2.
Need carpet. We're indoors. Unless it's a basement, it's a place where people have to walk, and people in castles often prefer to walk on carpets.
Remove the torch and put a chandelier in the ceiling instead. Try making the ceiling the wooden texture from Cellar (I think).

3.
This room has to many lamps, and requires a window.
Use the window to cast blue light into the room. This will help keeping it lit, make color variation and decrease the amount of lamps needed.
The walls are empty. When you have removed a couple of lamps, put a bookshelf up. Maybe a painting?

4.
This room is too lit by 2 small candles...
There isn't enough rubble on the floor. We're underground!
Also for what's in the room, it is too big. Try to give it a reason for being this big.

Trying is the first step to success.
12-16-2015, 01:01 AM
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Koopa Rs07 Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

I'll take all that into consideration, FlawlessHappiness. Big Grin

(This post was last modified: 12-16-2015, 01:19 AM by Koopa Rs07.)
12-16-2015, 01:19 AM
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Koopa Rs07 Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

More of my CS! Criticize it!
Spoiler below!
[Image: fEcub7F.png]
Spoiler below!
[Image: 10yGbCa.png]

(This post was last modified: 12-18-2015, 12:39 AM by Koopa Rs07.)
12-18-2015, 12:39 AM
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Mudbill Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

I really like that. Has a nice balance of lighting in my opinion, but then again I don't have crazy experience with it to call out anything. Good stuff though.

12-18-2015, 01:50 AM
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CarnivorousJelly Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

Hey FD! Never thought this thread would come alive again, but I'm glad it did c:

Applicable to both screenshots: I hope the player had to go up at least a few flights of stairs to get to these rooms! Underground buildings probably don't have windows and DEFINITELY wouldn't have light coming through them c; make sure the levels leading up to this area have stairs going UP for the sake of continuity.

EDIT: okay I want to make clear that I'm trying to help with contructive criticism (you asked for it). Realized I may have sounded a bit harsh. Don't take this as insulting you personally, I want to see you improve! You did a lot of good stuff, but I'm focussing on the negatives for the purposes of this.

Okay onto the specifics

Screenshot 1
I love the atmosphere that the colours and the fog are creating. Though speaking of light, your billboards are a bit of a mess. Okay a lot of a mess. Yes FG did them the same way in TDD, but there is a better way and there are better examples, so no excuses! Here, I'll post some examples and compare them to yours:

http://wordlesstech.com/wp-content/uploa...oplets.jpg
http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/...8458-0.jpg
https://shahnilpa.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/attic.jpg
http://petapixel.com/assets/uploads/2015...7413ps.jpg
http://www.kolbykirk.com/images/blog/moja01/05b_500.jpg

There's a few things I want you to notice about these:
• Light rays only occur when there are particles suspended in the air (like water, dust, or smoke)
• These rays END where the air is clear
• If the air stays dusty, they continue to where they meet a solid object (wall, chair) and cast BRIGHT light where they hit
• The more opaque the light rays are, the brighter the source of light has to be. Notice in the photos, the actual lit surfaces are overexposed (pure white, shadows and forms are barely visible if at all)

So let's apply this to your screenshot.
• Is the air sufficiently hazy? Yep! You could show particles in the light by adding light_dust particles and small fog area particles to add a bit more detail
• Do the rays terminate in a reasonable manner? NO! They end in the middle of the air, but the fog continues
• Is the light source bright enough to justify the opacity of the light rays? NO! In this case, I'd say tone down the billboards instead of bringing up the light source. You can create a separate, small, light called "billboard_light" or something like that and make it 12-37% as bright as the source of light. Connect all your billboards to this light and you'll be able to change their colour much more easily.

Speaking of light, the number of chandeliers seems excessive... maybe space them farther apart? Floor could use some more rubble (I see cracks, but no signs of how they got there), add some static dirt decals (the static object, not an actual decal). This is a totally appropriate place to put in carpets. A princess' toesies would freeze walking around on that floor in late in the evening/early morning.

Screenshot 2
Oh boy howdy do we have an issue here. Billboards really shouldn't clip through the windows... just... don't do it. they also shouldn't change directions like that. Unless your source of light (the sun I presume) is sitting DIRECTLY OUTSIDE THE WINDOW, it acts as a plane of light rather than a sphereical object of light - basically the light goes in a straight line and doesn't spread much. Ceiling's a little boring looking; add static decal cracks (there's one that matches that wood exactly), cobwebs, and the like.

I see a bed, too. So this was someone's room at one point. It looks like they didn't leave by choice, meaning their personal belongings should still be there. Books, candels, clothes, pictures, beer bottles, etc.

Pro-tip, use the really streaked static dirt decal (number 2 I believe) and make it really slim for some cool scrape marks on the floor where the table was pushed from.

[Image: quote_by_rueppells_fox-d9ciupp.png]
(This post was last modified: 12-18-2015, 02:00 AM by CarnivorousJelly.)
12-18-2015, 01:53 AM
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Romulator Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

(12-20-2015, 05:01 PM)Robosprog Wrote: Need some criticism on something I made recently.

[image]

Holy! Did you make this in HPL3? That's beautiful... ;-;

Discord: Romulator#0001
[Image: 3f6f01a904.png]
(This post was last modified: 12-20-2015, 05:10 PM by Romulator.)
12-20-2015, 05:09 PM
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7heDubz Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

(12-20-2015, 05:01 PM)Robosprog Wrote: Need some criticism on something I made recently.

Spoiler below!

[Image: 54E33C30223E0E3138197370A4D4348BD2E32222]


Recently?

12-20-2015, 05:14 PM
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Mudbill Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

(12-20-2015, 05:17 PM)Robosprog Wrote:
Spoiler below!

[Image: obama_shush_lg.jpg]


Spoiler below!
[Image: trump%20kissing.jpg?dl=0]

(This post was last modified: 12-20-2015, 08:24 PM by Mudbill.)
12-20-2015, 08:23 PM
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Newsman Waterpaper Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

(12-20-2015, 08:23 PM)Mudbill Wrote:
(12-20-2015, 05:17 PM)Robosprog Wrote:
Spoiler below!

[Image: obama_shush_lg.jpg]


Spoiler below!
[Image: trump%20kissing.jpg?dl=0]
Spoiler below!

[Image: bill-clinton-portrait-victory-pose-1.jpg]

12-21-2015, 09:05 PM
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FlawlessHappiness Offline
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RE: [Amnesia] Screenshot criticism thread

(12-21-2015, 09:05 PM)Newsman Waterpaper Wrote:
(12-20-2015, 08:23 PM)Mudbill Wrote:
(12-20-2015, 05:17 PM)Robosprog Wrote:
Spoiler below!

[Image: obama_shush_lg.jpg]


Spoiler below!
[Image: trump%20kissing.jpg?dl=0]
Spoiler below!

[Image: bill-clinton-portrait-victory-pose-1.jpg]

Spoiler below!

[Image: w6113.jpg]

Trying is the first step to success.
(This post was last modified: 12-22-2015, 09:58 AM by FlawlessHappiness.)
12-22-2015, 09:58 AM
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