PASTA

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PASTA

failedALIAS Offline

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RE: PASTA

I very much enjoyed the pacing of this story - great improvement over past entries. One complaint I have is that the wording is too repetitive and the setting, and actions lack description. Really pound on those adjectives!

Lastly, I don't hate the flirting, I just play hard to get.

11-23-2012, 05:17 AM

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Messages In This Thread

PASTA - by Froge - 11-22-2012, 10:58 PM

RE: PASTA - by Wooderson - 11-22-2012, 11:00 PM

RE: PASTA - by The chaser - 11-23-2012, 10:24 PM

RE: PASTA - by Zaffre - 11-22-2012, 11:19 PM

RE: PASTA - by Froge - 11-23-2012, 12:21 AM

RE: PASTA - by failedALIAS - 11-23-2012, 05:17 AM

RE: PASTA - by Wooderson - 11-24-2012, 01:22 AM

RE: PASTA - by failedALIAS - 11-24-2012, 04:42 AM

RE: PASTA - by Froge - 11-24-2012, 04:49 AM

RE: PASTA - by failedALIAS - 11-24-2012, 04:55 AM

RE: PASTA - by Wooderson - 11-24-2012, 05:21 AM

RE: PASTA - by failedALIAS - 11-24-2012, 05:51 AM

RE: PASTA - by Kman - 11-24-2012, 08:59 AM

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