Amnesia: Finding Them

[Kaizy]

Played it

Spoiler below!

Your map lacks severely. Your layout was odd to say the least. You start out in what looks like part of a mansion, then you go upstairs to a dungeon? Dungeons are always downstairs, usually a basement. But then, you go up more stairs and then you're back in a mansion, and that is above ground? I really just don't get the layout of this map and it was confusing me, you should seriously think of how you layout your story.

There's also your "scares" which, I'll be honest, they're bad. Nothing but 2 Teleporting Naked Guys and a Poofer...and you didn't even use the screaming sound for the TNG's so when they just randomly appeared, I wasn't even fazed. There is just no excuse for using nothing but the two worst kinds of scares in a map, and have that be your only scares. You want to build atmosphere and get the player interested in what they're playing, make them feel like they're part of the story and put in very subtle scares; avoid giving the monster face time and don't just hurl things at us, it's a bad scare tactic because it really doesn't work unless done right. Also, if you're going to do jumpscares, it really helps if you don't tell me when it's about to happen. I should not enter a room and see text at the bottom that points out the closet in the corner. No excuse.

The placement of your textures/objects needs some serious work. Paintings were either floating in front of the walls or fazing through the walls, walls and floors were flickering because of bad placement, and I distinctly remember seeing a door with a big gap in the top of it, the one that led to the dungeon, and I could see blue sky, which makes no sense.

Also, don't use PewDiePie jokes. I can guarantee that almost every single person who plays the map will not be PewDiePie, so putting jokes in for him doesn't make this fun for everyone else. It's fine to put in a Stephano or pig or something, but to have text appear at the bottom clearly calling to a PDP joke does nothing for your story. Never call out to someone else's material if you're trying to make a serious map.

And work on the actual story. The story was incredibly bland, and amounted to nothing more than: wife and kid missing, walk into dungeon, oh they're dead, The End.

You really need to get the basics of mapmaking down first before making more serious attempts at it.
Nice try but no cigar