The Lifeboat

[Tiger]

Assuming now that the life boat is made out of wood (Before I assumed it was made out of plastic/rubber) I would tear a plank from the boat, jump in the water, position myself on top of the plank (standing). I would then start kicking in the water, accelerating up to 30 mph while slowly putting on my black sunglasses as the people behind me stare at me as I disappear beyond the horizon

Alternate ending for FailedALIAS:

Spoiler below!

While they're staring at me, excepting me to disappear soon, I turn around around on my "home-made" surfing board, going right at the crowd of people in the water. While I'm driving my surfing board right in the heads of the people desperately clinging on to their lives, trying to remain their heads above the water surface but to no avail. Their necks snap and I can see them slowly sinking down in the water. Terrified people are screaming and yelling at me to "stop this madness!", but I don't listen. When everyone in the water is dead I proceed to my next target: The lifeboat. I accelerate at top speed against them. They're staring at me, eyes wide open. I don't give a fuck. I use the edge of the lifeboat as a ramp to hop into the air. The surfing board isn't below my feet anymore, in slow-motion I kickflip it into my hands and use it as a bat to hit an old woman and I can hear her neck snap. I quickly position the surfing board below my feet again and land in the water. The people on the lifeboat are overwhelmed by relief, they think I'm not going to return, and they're right. I pull up an explosion clacker and don't look back at the people that are unaware that while bashing that poor, old lady's head in, I dropped a small explosive, enough to blow a big hole in the bottom of the boat and maybe kill a few of them. As I accelerate there with my sunglasses on and with the sun setting in front of me, I push the trigger on the clacker and behind me the boat blows to pieces and I continue cruising on my plank.