Fifty Shades of Bacon

[Alardem]

lifted the heavy stone cover of her sarcophagus and tossed it on the ground. "WHR IZ MY MORNING PAPER AND CUP OF COFFEE, OSWLD?!" she yelled. But Oswald wasn't there. She was alone in cold and dark stone chamber. And she knew that it's her task to find her husband.

"L-look at you, woman," rumbled the Machine. "A pathetic creature of skin and bone. Gasping and rotting as you stumble through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

And then a tidal wave of blood came and she was frightened beyond measure! And then a pig's skeleton popped out!!!