Fifty Shades of Bacon

[Alardem]

Spoiler below!

With apologies to Peter Chimaera

Oswald Mandus waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were pigs in the Machine. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to the Proofeser were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now anyway.

Oswald Mandus was an industrialist for 40 years. When he was young he watched the Aztecs and he said "I want to be on the temples great-uncle" and great-uncle said "No you will be EAT BY PIGS." There was a time when he believed him but as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the underground tunnels of London, he knew there were pigs.

"This is Proofesser" the phonograph crackered. "You must kill the Machine." So Mandus gotted his explosive lantern and lit up the wall. "HE GOING TO EAT US" shouted the Man-Pigs. "I will spark at him" said the Tesla-Pig and he turned invisible.

Mandus lanterned at him and tried to ran away. But then the Machine fell and they were trapped and unable to respawn.

"No! I must eat the Pigs!" he shouted.
The phonograph said "No, Mandus. You are the Pigs."
And then Mandus was bacon.