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Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]
thomthom44 Offline
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Posts: 99
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Joined: Dec 2011
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#21
RE: Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

Hey everyone, Im Curently making my final patch for the mod and asking for your help! As manny players complained about the spelling and the story overall. I would love it if somone could change the story. Not the whole story ofcourse just like spelling errors and strange word use. My english is verry bad so I use spel check often, But that does not realy help improve the use of words. If you decide to help please leave a comment so not everyone start working on it.

Major spoiler!

Spoiler below!

Notes

Whiteville 1423,A peaceful village famous about its beautiful landscape turned into a deserted place where no one dares to enter because of the plague, Recent information has told that lights start to burn at night and people standing around the mountain side. Many say the place is cursed and no one may enter or no returned is promised. Many villagers were evacuated to the castle when it all happened. The rest moved across the land. In 1428 a message was send from Whiteville and handed to the young William Cromwell in London. The letter was from his mother still hiding in the castle, but there was one problem. The letter was send 2 years ago. There was no confirmation that she would still be alive. William decided to travel to Whiteville as the plague was over for a year there. Ignoring all the warnings he still entered the forsaken place


12 November 1424
Dear son, I hope this message will arrive on time. As you may know the plague has stranded here in Whiteville. We are currently staying at the castle because it’s not safe outside yet. Villagers who stayed at their homes have turned mad. Skins burned and deformed. Dorian decided to clear town of infected and will try to stabilize it to be able to live our normal lives again. I’m asking your help William, Please come to Whiteville, we need help from the outside but don’t come alone! We have spotted infected near the castle. We hope to have cleared them by Saturday. I will meet you at the farm house near the mountain bridges if things go to plan. If I am not there dont bother going any further. It may not be safe! Good luck my son.

Sincerely Elisabeth Cromwell

3 June
Gregory has lost it sins the plague, He start to mumble in his sleep and awakes screaming like he had a nightmare. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s too much, We were ordered to stay inside as the castle was too crowded. But I don’t feel safe here, Especially at night. We can hear the sick walking around the path outside. We had the option to leave town but Gregory and myself found it too hard to just leave our house that easily, We barely managed to buy this house on such beautiful location and do not want to lose it like this. This house was owned by one of my grandparent 22 years ago, Sadly they both died when one of the recently constructed bridges was collapsed near the house. After that me and Gregory decided to move here in Whiteville.

18 June
It’s time for us to give up, We have seen the sick walking by yesterday, It looked like there head was spliced open and covered in blood. And just a few hours ago one of them managed to get inside, We blocked the staircase to prevent them moving upstairs. Gregory has already left this earth, His body lies beside me and I’m next to follow, I hear them trying to break the blockade and there is nothing I can do now. There is not much time now.
Goodbye


4 November

1 years has passed now and no word from the outside yet, We have encountered some minor problems in the castle now and it’s getting worse. People become sick in the castle too and lost a lot of men so far. Lance Corviser has also past away and like the others we burned them in the courtyard. It’s becoming harder to stay alive now that there is not much left in the storage to eat or drink. We must come with a solution!

5 November
Still no progress made, We must find a way to gain food before we have nothing left. We could go outside hunt for animals but it’s just too dangerous to go outside yet. As rats have been spotted outside. We also have seen someone lurking outside today. It looked like he had problems walking, Not much more could be seen as he disappeared behind the walls.


8 November
Second sighting of the mysterious man outside, He tried to open the main hall gate with brute force, We shouted at him to go away and he walked away without saying anything. Now we know that even the sick walk around our courtyard its impossible to think about going outside now.


13 November
This may be my last week on earth, My skin is turning black and I’m having trouble to talk. we decided to go outside to clear a path to the farms and kill The sick on sight. I may not be there to help, But I will stay strong for my people until I die.


6 October
Second day here in the castle, I’m currently staying at the dungeons. Who still moans at night, Its almost impossible to sleep with here around. But there is no need for rest now, Because I’m trying to find a new potion that will prevent the plague interfering with us. So we can go back to normal.

25 October
Now weeks after the incident I’m still working on the potion. But I’m in need of a few herb outside while it’s not safe there yet, As Dorian came to tell me there were Infected walking around the castle. It must be terrible to be sick and not even knowing what you are doing. But if I don’t get the needed herbs I may never finish this potion, I could save everyone here in the castle. I will think about it overnight.


26 October
I decided to go outside and collect the needed items, Il bring my sword, You never know what the sick will do. If I don’t return and the potion is still untouched please take good care of it. It need just one ingredient and it should work. The herb is called the “Agra herb” If no progress is made on the subject then may god have mercy on your soul’s! Goodbye, Walter Hawkwind

Map text


After not speaking my mother in 6 years she sended me a letter, telling me that she needed my help in Whiteville because of the plague. But the letter is from 2 years ago, I must go visit Whiteville to see if everyone is Alright.

We finally arrived at the mountain where Whiteville is located, Its not far from here on.

As soon as I stepped inside the house I knew something was wrong, Furniture thrown all over the place. Blood against the wall, I must be carful now.

Nothing could be found in the house, A shame about the family who lived there. I hope that the town will look better than this or my hopes on finding survivors is very little.

As I was walking further to the main village gate I noticed someone walking In the woods, It seemed to walk strangely and disappeared short after

I've Noticed dead body's just outside the path on my way here, I hope there are still people alive inside the castle!

That thing was what I saw before! I should look up close and see who or what he is. But still be carful about the diseases. I don't want to be sick at this time of day.

Finally I arrived at the castle, But It looks just as dead as outside. This is where Dorian sheltered first before moving on further up the castle.

This is where I used to play with my best friend back in the day, I remember there was a secret room in the library. I used to hide there when I was in trouble!

There is a door leading to the dungeons somewhere nearby. It's the last place to check is someone is alive. If not, Then I'm of to London to tell the horrors that are located here and burn the place down and never enter this place again.


It's cold in here, I must not stay long. These are the last rooms for me to find survivors. If I find death instead then may you rest in peace mother. I will never forget you.

[Image: moty-125.png]
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2012, 07:21 PM by thomthom44.)
11-30-2012, 05:31 PM
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Tommyboypsp Offline
Member

Posts: 237
Threads: 10
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation: 8
#22
RE: Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

I'll help :-) shouldn't take too long.

EDIT:
I've seen much worse. I've tried polishing it as much as I could, though of course my English isn't perfect either.
(?) - means I don't know if you're satisfied with this sentence. I had to rearrange or change words to 'fix' the sentence Tongue
I hope this is helpful, it's my way of saying thanks for an awesome custom story Smile
But a double check by another person wouldn't hurt Wink
Quote:Major spoiler!

Spoiler below!

Notes

Whiteville, 1423

A peaceful village, famous for its beautiful landscape, turned into a deserted place where no one dares to enter because of the plague. Recent eye witness accounts claim that people have been spotted standing at the mountain side, and lights turning on at night(?) Many say the place is cursed and none should enter, or they might not return.. Many villagers were evacuated to the castle when it all happened. The rest moved across the land.

In 1428(!), a message was sent from Whiteville and handed to the young William Cromwell in London. The letter was from his mother, still hiding in the castle, but there was one problem: the letter was sent 4(?)/(!) years before. There was no confirmation that she would still be alive. William decided to travel to Whiteville as the plague was over for a year there. Ignoring all the warnings, he still entered the forsaken place..

--
November 12, 1424(!)

Dear son, I hope this message will arrive on time. As you may know, the plague has struck us here in Whiteville. We are currently staying at the castle because it’s not safe outside yet. Villagers who stayed at their homes have turned mad. Skins burned and deformed. Dorian has decided to clear the town of the infected so we can live our normal lives again(?). I’m asking your help, William. Please come to Whiteville, we need help from the outside, but don’t come on your own! We have spotted infected near the castle. We hope to have cleared them by Saturday. I will meet you at the farm house near the mountain bridges if things go to plan. If I am not there, do not bother going any further. It may not be safe!

Good luck my son,

Elisabeth Cromwel(?)


----
June 3,

Gregory has started to go mad because of the plague. He starts to mumble in his sleep and wakes up screaming, like he had some sort of nightmare. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s just too much.. We were ordered to stay inside as the castle was too crowded, but I don’t feel safe here, especially at night. We can hear the sick walking around the path outside. We had the option to leave town, but Gregory and myself found it too hard to just abandon our house that easily, we worked very hard to be able to buy a house in such a beatiful area. We do not want to lose it like this(?). This house was owned by one of my grandparents 22 years ago. Sadly, they both died when one of the recently constructed bridges collapsed near the house. Gregory and I then decided to move here.
-----

June 18,

It’s time for us to give up. We have seen the sick walking by yesterday. It looked like their heads were sliced open and covered in blood. Just a few hours ago, one of them managed to get inside. We blocked the staircase to prevent them moving upstairs. Gregory has already left this earth, his body lies next to me and I’m next. I hear them trying to break the blockade and there is nothing I can do now. There is not much time left.

Goodbye

-----

November 4,

A year has passed, and no word from the outside yet. We have encountered some minor problems in the castle now and it’s getting worse. People are getting sick in the castle too, and we have lost a lot of men so far. Lance Corviser has also past away, and like the others, we burned them in the courtyard. It’s getting harder to stay alive now that there is not much left in the storage to eat or drink. We must come with a solution!
-----------
November 5,

Still no progress made. We must find a way to gain food before we have nothing left. We could go outside and hunt for animals, but it’s just too dangerous to go outside, because of the plague-infested rats. We have also seen someone lurking outside today. It looked like he had problems walking, that's all we could see before he disappeared behind the walls.


-----
November 8,

Second sighting of the mysterious man outside, he tried to open the main hall gate with brute force. We shouted at him to go away and he walked away without saying anything. Now that we know that even the plagued walk around our courtyard, it is impossible to think about going outside.

----
November 13,

This may be my last week on earth. My skin is turning black and I’m having trouble talking. we decided to go outside to clear a path to the farms and kill the plagued on sight. I may not be there to help, But I will stay strong for my people until I die.


------
October 6,

It is my second day here in the castle, I’m currently staying at the dungeons. It is hard to get any sleep with that person moaning at night. But there is no need for rest now, because I’m trying to find a new potion that will cleanse us from the plague, so we can go back to normal.

------
October 25,

Now, weeks after the incident, I’m still working on the potion. I can't make any progress before I get some of the herbs that grow outside. It's still not safe to go outside though, Dorian told me there were infected roaming near the castle.(?) It must be terrible to be sick and walk around like that, without knowing what you are doing. But if I don’t get the needed herbs I may never finish this potion, I could save everyone here in the castle. I will think about it overnight.

---

October 26,

I decided to go outside and collect the required ingredients. I'll bring my sword, you never know what the plagued will do. If I don’t return, and the potion is still untouched, please take good care of it. It just needs one more ingredient for it to work. The herb is called the “Agra herb”. If no progress is made on the subject, then may God have mercy on your souls!

Goodbye,

Walter Hawkwind

--------

Map text


After not having spoken my mother 6 years, she sent me a letter, telling me that she needed my help in Whiteville because of the plague. But the letter is from 2 years ago..
I must go visit Whiteville to see if everyone is Alright!

We finally arrived at the mountain where Whiteville is located, we were getting close(?).
(You jumped from past to present, I'm not sure how to fix the sentence Tongue)

As soon as I stepped inside the house, I knew something was wrong. Furniture was lying all over the place. Blood against the wall..
I must be careful now.

Nothing could be found in the house. A shame about the family who lived there. I hope the town will look better than this or my hopes on finding survivors are very small.

As I was walking further to the main village gate, I noticed someone walking In the woods. It seemed to walk strangely and disappeared shortly after.

I've Noticed dead bodies just outside the path on my way here, I hope there are people still alive inside the castle!

That thing was what I saw before! I should look up close and see who or what he is. But I should be careful about the disease. I don't want to get sick at this time of day.(?)(you never want to get sick, do you?)

Finally, I arrived at the castle. It looks just as dead as outside. This is where Dorian sheltered first before moving on further up the castle.

This is where I used to play with my best friend, back in the day. I remember there was a secret room in the library. I used to hide there when I was in trouble!

There is a door leading to the dungeons, somewhere nearby. It's the last place to check if someone is alive. If not, then I'm of to London, never to return. I need to make sure everyone knows about what is going on around here, to make sure there will be no more victims.(?)


It's cold in here, I shouldn't stay long. This place is my last hope on finding any survivors. If not, then may you rest in peace mother. I will never forget you.
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2012, 04:29 PM by Tommyboypsp.)
12-03-2012, 03:15 PM
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thomthom44 Offline
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Posts: 99
Threads: 6
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 7
#23
RE: Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

(12-03-2012, 03:15 PM)Tommyboypsp Wrote: I'll help :-) shouldn't take too long.

EDIT:
I've seen much worse. I've tried polishing it as much as I could, though of course my English isn't perfect either.
(?) - means I don't know if you're satisfied with this sentence. I had to rearrange or change words to 'fix' the sentence Tongue
I hope this is helpful, it's my way of saying thanks for an awesome custom story Smile
But a double check by another person wouldn't hurt Wink

Thank you very VERY Much! I will use this for the final patch. (I want to get started on my new CS).
So this will do. I will ad you to the credits if you don't mind! But i would need your name, I could ad your profile name but that's up to you.

[Image: moty-125.png]
12-04-2012, 04:52 PM
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Tommyboypsp Offline
Member

Posts: 237
Threads: 10
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation: 8
#24
RE: Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

Tommyboypsp is the name I use online the most Tongue
I'm glad to be of help Smile

Funderbunk Wrote:Playing Amnesia through to the end has increased the size of my genitalia exponentially and made me into a real man.
12-05-2012, 11:05 AM
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thomthom44 Offline
Member

Posts: 99
Threads: 6
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 7
#25
RE: Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

Final Patch about to be released, it is currently awaiting authorisation.

I will update this reply when its done.
Here is the link if you want to check it your self: Click here

[Image: moty-125.png]
12-05-2012, 06:03 PM
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