[WIP] Amnesia: Realm of Death

[MrBehemoth]

Your screens look good. Keep up the good work. I've got a few comments about the writing.

First off, and this might only be an issue to British people, but Richard Wilson is the name of a fairly famous British actor. He was in a long running sitcom but most people outside the UK would know him from Merlin I guess (Gaius). My advice is to change it, but then only a small part of your audience is British, so meh.

Secondly, Transylvania is a large part of Romania. According to Wikipedia it is 38,721 sqare miles and contains 118 castles, so to me "the Castle of Transylvania" is a bit jarring. Why not pick a particular castle in Transylvania, or invent one?

Thirdly, I wanted to give you some advice about language and grammar, no offence.When it comes to written text, it needs to be spot on. So many CSs are ruined for me because of the spelling and grammar. The content of your synopsis in the OP is good, but I could pick holes in the grammar. Before releasing your CS I highly recommend getting someone to go through your lang files for you. I would be happy to help.

Edit: Also, I voted no in the poll. IMO, if you call a story "Amnesia: Something", that implies that it is set in the Amnesia universe or is an addition to the canon. I would call it just "Realm of Death", unless the idea is that the castle houses an orb or something like that.

Edit: Edit: I just noticed above that you mentioned Alexander, so I guess it is set in the Amnesia universe. In that case I revise my vote. "Amnesia: Realm of Death" is fine.