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[Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)
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schmupper Offline
Junior Member

Posts: 23
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation: 2
Post: #21
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

It is... it is... THE GROKE!
Spoiler below!

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTaAFxdDT9qftPLQqQV2nf...IQu439kBdA]

He's obviusly angry about you ruining his precious white sheets. That's why he isn't white as a normal ghost, his ordinary "suits" was on dry. And all muddy you ran right through it!


''Oh. My. God. He's DEAD. Quickly, if he hasnt started to smell, give him the kiss of life!''

Clarence - The monkey hater
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2011 07:14 PM by schmupper.)
10-04-2011 07:03 PM
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Vyzor Offline
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Posts: 92
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation: 6
Post: #22
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

I love how you added the music from Diablo I if am correct, great times Big Grin

[Image: vyzorbackgroundm.png]
10-05-2011 08:16 PM
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Inya Offline
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Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2011
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Post: #23
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

I had a bit trouble figuring out the puzzle but I made it though fine after I figured out how to move the rings.

I enjoyed it a lot.

Spoiler below!

That new monster is pretty nice, too.
[Image: 2mrbnte.jpg]

10-05-2011 08:17 PM
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Acies Offline
Posting Freak

Posts: 1,643
Joined: Feb 2011
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Post: #24
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

(10-05-2011 08:16 PM)Vyzor Wrote:  I love how you added the music from Diablo I if am correct, great times Big Grin
Correct! Smile

(10-05-2011 08:17 PM)Inya Wrote:  I had a bit trouble figuring out the puzzle but I made it though fine after I figured out how to move the rings.



I enjoyed it a lot.



Spoiler below!


That new monster is pretty nice, too.



Great! Smile glad you enjoyed it


(10-04-2011 07:03 PM)schmupper Wrote:  It is... it is... THE GROKE!

Spoiler below!




He's obviusly angry about you ruining his precious white sheets. That's why he isn't white as a normal ghost, his ordinary "suits" was on dry. And all muddy you ran right through it!


Hahaha! Smile

[Image: mZiYnxe.png]


10-05-2011 09:58 PM
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graykin Offline
Senior Member

Posts: 317
Joined: Oct 2008
Reputation: 4
Post: #25
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

You did a really great job with this overall! Big Grin I'd love to see what you do next.

Spoiler below!
Loved the Diablo II reference, by the way. Wink

10-05-2011 10:36 PM
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NyteMyre Offline
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Posts: 70
Joined: Nov 2010
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Post: #26
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

I kinda regret not playing this first... watched Cry's playtrough instead.
The new monster is kinda what I expected from the original Amnesia teaser/trailer.

Spoiler below!

I also made a similair request in Hermoor's monster thread:
[Image: Ghost_Shadow_Wallpaper_wivlf.jpg]

10-06-2011 01:37 PM
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Hunter of Shadows Offline
Senior Member

Posts: 745
Joined: Apr 2011
Reputation: 11
Post: #27
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

Annoyed at ripping Diablo 2 quote...

Other then that was great
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2011 08:29 PM by Hunter of Shadows.)
10-06-2011 08:23 PM
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Khyrpa Offline
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Posts: 638
Joined: Apr 2011
Reputation: 24
Post: #28
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

Feedback! Lots of!

Spoiler below!

At what part were you most scared?
I would say the part when you come back from the cutscene to the point where I actually saw the monster and the movements were quite clumsy with the cloak that had no fancy cloth like movement, but I am a developer myself so I ofc wanted to see the monster well ^^

Did the scenes manage to immerse you?

I was as immersed as I can get in a custom story, it was broken at both puzzle parts, but I'll come to that later...

Did you at some part become bored/irritated/frustrated with the map?

I got frustrated with the main puzzle because, I didn't notice the glow effect when they hit the right spot and I found this line quite odd:
"There appears to be two orbits: The primary and the secondary, with the primary being closest to the sun".
I would like to know what you meant with that, I assumed it meant that I had to, for some reason place all the staffs in the first 2 rings. The other clues and the whole idea of the puzzle was pretty good nevertheless, I just got confused about that orbit thing.

The second time I got frustrated was because I didn't notice you could pull the intestines just by pulling (it needed some tricky positioning after all though). The monster disappeared so there was no tension either, it would have been great if I had instantly figured out what to do. Also the intestines dropped somewhere between the stones and it took a while to manage a click...

Other stuff...
God damn! Cry needs a better mic if he will voice act more Smile
And I have to give you credit for the sounds. They were nicely crafted, even though they may not have been produced with the greatest equipment. Music fit great (though I didn't like the one playing in the cutscene it was just so cliche or something Smile). Also please consider not using the sanity damage effect for every scare. Like said somewhere in the frictionals blog: its effect only works when the player is fully immersed and is really suprised (not in the first wind that blows papers around event, also it cant sync with a longer scare like that awesome shadow one, but these are some personal things so they wont most likely annoy the rest 99.99% of players).
Also it would be great if all the files could be inside the custom story folder. Easier to install and keep track of donwloaded stuff for other mappers, but you placed them inside their own neat folders so that aint a problem actually.
The monster was very neat, I liked the sounds and all. I thought it was some kind of octopus or something when I only saw his cloak move all stiff. The cloak was the only problem and with that being something that can't be helped, it was great. No one playing normally would start observing its movements like I did.

Sorry for this insanely long feedback text thing when you didn't even actually ask for it, but if I start writing something why not do it well? Keep on doing custom stories, you are talented and I will send a cloaked man after you if you stop.

And now I have to find out how you did the hand hitting the player thing...

Also I assume everyone can use your models freely (giving credit ofc)?

(This post was last modified: 10-06-2011 10:33 PM by Khyrpa.)
10-06-2011 10:29 PM
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Acies Offline
Posting Freak

Posts: 1,643
Joined: Feb 2011
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Post: #29
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

(10-06-2011 08:23 PM)Hunter of Shadows Wrote:  Annoyed at ripping Diablo 2 quote...

Other then that was great
I tried to recreate the whole sceen, since I think it's powerful and quite awesome - but I could see that it lacks originality Smile

(10-06-2011 10:29 PM)Khyrpa Wrote:  Feedback! Lots of!

Spoiler below!

At what part were you most scared?
I would say the part when you come back from the cutscene to the point where I actually saw the monster and the movements were quite clumsy with the cloak that had no fancy cloth like movement, but I am a developer myself so I ofc wanted to see the monster well ^^

Did the scenes manage to immerse you?

I was as immersed as I can get in a custom story, it was broken at both puzzle parts, but I'll come to that later...

Did you at some part become bored/irritated/frustrated with the map?

I got frustrated with the main puzzle because, I didn't notice the glow effect when they hit the right spot and I found this line quite odd:
"There appears to be two orbits: The primary and the secondary, with the primary being closest to the sun".
I would like to know what you meant with that, I assumed it meant that I had to, for some reason place all the staffs in the first 2 rings. The other clues and the whole idea of the puzzle was pretty good nevertheless, I just got confused about that orbit thing.

The second time I got frustrated was because I didn't notice you could pull the intestines just by pulling (it needed some tricky positioning after all though). The monster disappeared so there was no tension either, it would have been great if I had instantly figured out what to do. Also the intestines dropped somewhere between the stones and it took a while to manage a click...

Other stuff...
God damn! Cry needs a better mic if he will voice act more Smile
And I have to give you credit for the sounds. They were nicely crafted, even though they may not have been produced with the greatest equipment. Music fit great (though I didn't like the one playing in the cutscene it was just so cliche or something Smile). Also please consider not using the sanity damage effect for every scare. Like said somewhere in the frictionals blog: its effect only works when the player is fully immersed and is really suprised (not in the first wind that blows papers around event, also it cant sync with a longer scare like that awesome shadow one, but these are some personal things so they wont most likely annoy the rest 99.99% of players).
Also it would be great if all the files could be inside the custom story folder. Easier to install and keep track of donwloaded stuff for other mappers, but you placed them inside their own neat folders so that aint a problem actually.
The monster was very neat, I liked the sounds and all. I thought it was some kind of octopus or something when I only saw his cloak move all stiff. The cloak was the only problem and with that being something that can't be helped, it was great. No one playing normally would start observing its movements like I did.

Sorry for this insanely long feedback text thing when you didn't even actually ask for it, but if I start writing something why not do it well? Keep on doing custom stories, you are talented and I will send a cloaked man after you if you stop.

And now I have to find out how you did the hand hitting the player thing...

Also I assume everyone can use your models freely (giving credit ofc)?
Spoiler below!

Thank you very much for the qualitative feedback! I'm glad that you enjoyed it (overall)! As for answering some of your questions:

Yes the movement of the creature is far from perfect : D I was unsure of how to construct the skeleton for something which wasn't a biped. That combined with the fact that animations are speeded up once running made for quite a "bad" animation.

Oh concerning the orbit clue; the outer ring isn't moveable (it only has one position) so by definition it shouldn't be an orbit. To follow that type of reasoning as a player can be pretty darn far-fetched Big Grin.

I wanted to simulate "pulling out" someones intestines, so I figured that it would a good amount of force at start; until they "loosened up". Too bad that it dropped somewhere at the stones : / Perhaps I should lower the impulse on that one! ; )

The hand hitting the player is an animation combined with a timer, but it could be done with an entitycollide I think.



Also I assume everyone can use your models freely (giving credit ofc)?
- Of course! Use away!

[Image: mZiYnxe.png]


10-06-2011 11:25 PM
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Tanshaydar Offline
From Beyond

Posts: 3,085
Joined: Mar 2009
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Post: #30
RE: [Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)

Hey Acies,
I came here to curse you.
WHY? I mean, really, why did you take this so short? You had the skill, you had the voice actor, you had the potential, but still you made it less then ten minutes? Are you crazy? Are you mocking with us? God, wouldn't it be better to make it longer, to give it a good story. You even managed to create cloth animation! (I don't care the workarounds!)

For a moment, I really felt like I was in a real Lovecraftian game, I was going to face with the unimaginable curses of the cosmic. But no, Acies just wanted to tantalize.

Anyway,
Technically, I managed to put everything in one custom story folder, so I didn't need to put custom assets into actual game folders.
Those planet items, they would be better if their inventory images had an alpha channel.

It was really fascinating, really good. I think you just did wrong to this story, you killed its potential. And for this I will give you a bad reputation Tongue

10-07-2011 12:44 AM
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